Sunday, 7 June 2009

What to do when your ex boyfriend tells you he hates your guts... as much as possible!! I firmly believe that reading soothes the soul (okay music does too obviously) but lately, as well as catching up with my old favourites Babes in Toyland, I have also been catching up on my reading. Yeah, having a broken heart does that to you.. it either drives you to do things you want to slit your wrists over, or drives you to lie in bed until 4pm and proceed to wake up and read like some old woman with a heart condition, asthma and newly fitted hip replacements. Anyway, while reading the Courtney Love bio by Poppy Z Brite (I reccomend you check it out on amazon) which I shall be reviewing pretty soon, I have become reaquainted with my old bestfriends, comic books, or graphic novels if you like - with the likes of Tank Girl and Ghost World being read over and over until they are bent and torn - I have decided to count down my top 10 favourite badass female characters, that make me wish I was one of them and living in some post-apocalyptic crazy-ass world in which I could have superhuman strength and kick anyones ass I feel like, just for the hell of it. So here goes:

10. Enid and Rebecca (Ghost World)

Okay, so they aren't exactly badass in the 'we have super awesome powers and can kick men in the balls from a mile away' sense, but they are still pretty damn cool. The slick, quick witted dialogue and punk attitude of the characters just make them unbelievably awesome. The constant pop-culture references and comical but cynical behaviour, not to mention the bitter reality and grittiness of the comic just secure the books high cult status. Check out the movie, which is brilliant on its own, but a completely different rendition of the book, or buy a copy of the novel, you won't regret it.

9. Wonder Woman (DC Comics)

Who would mess with an Amazonian Princess wearing stary panties and a red corset? Not many, I tell you. Wonder Woman will always be one of the top female superheroes of all time, infact one of the top superheroes of all time. She is one of the few females who has made it into the mainstream world of comic patriarchy. She can fly, has super strength, super speed and stamina and shows upmost intelligence. She has an odd ability to communicate with the animal kingdom and can lasso enemies into telling the truth, not to mentio her indestructable bracelets and invisible plane. Basically, to sum up, she is badass and would kick Superman's ass and look gorgeous while doing so.

8. Selene (Underworld)

Okay, so she HAD to be in here. If anyone has seen any of the Underworld movies, they know not to mess with Selene and her sexy hybrid vampire/werewolf boyfriend. She told the nasty Kraven exactly where to go, in true kickass style, tracked down the sexy Micheal (of whom she then turned into a badass hybrid) and in one of the most kickass scenes in the movie, sliced Viktor's head in two. Not only is she brilliant in combat she glides, as Vampire do, through the air with superhuman leaps, kills other vamps with ease and later in the Underworld films, shows an ability to withstand sunlight and gains in strength when infused with Alexander Corvinus's blood. Her and Micheal make a lethal team and are able to defeat another vamp elder - Marcus, and become a truely indestructable, romantic force.

7. Rogue (X-Men)

My favourite X-Woman, Rogue's feisty nature and southern belle looks just make for a perfect combination. Setting the movie version aside swiftly (growls) the true Rogue is really a strong feminine icon. Her brilliant, distinctive hair, and ability to suck the life force from everyone she touches make her a somewhat misunderstood and disturbed character. Her relationship with Gambit is one of my favourite X-men storylines, and her battle with the lack of control of her powers make her strong exterior battle with her inner demons. She has the perfect, but least perfect power. She can take any other x-man's powers with one touch, and kill them with a kiss, which makes her the ultimate female weapon. Her ability to fly, and superhuman strength add to her badassness, but what I love the most are her wisecracks and undefeated attitude.

6. Death (Sandman)

Her name says it all - how can we mess with something so inevitable? She is the ultimate in badass. She isn't the typical grim reaper - she is a beautiful, pleasant gothic girl. What is best about her is that she is a complete character, normal even, but she can control everything, and is perhaps the most powerful being in the universe. She is most definitely the most powerful of the Endless and is seen as an omniscient, godlike character who is the only one who can intimidate the deadly furies. She is bound by no rules, and of course can never ever die- as she is death herself! She visits those who are born and those who die. She has the ability to become mortal once every century by taking the form of someone fated to die that day. She isn't a hero, or villian, she is a god - and a brilliant character, and thats why she makes my top 10, and Empire's top 15 (check out their top 50 comic book characters!)

5. Mystique (X-Men)

Who can mess with this morphing seductress formed of pure evil? She could be anyone, anything, she is the ultimate in femme fatals. What was Empire thinking when they put Emma Frost in their greatest comic characters and left out Mystique? She has abandoned her own child, had lesbian relationships, tried to destroy her foster daughters relationship with the love of her life, and generally caused chaos for the x-men again and again. She may not be indestructable, but this slithering, cunning bitch is definitely badass, and her blue skin and yellow eyes prove it. IGN have it right, at number 18, she is most definitely one of the most badass supervillians in history.

4. Phoenix/Jean Grey

"the embodiment of the very passion of Creation – the spark that gave life to the Universe, the flame that will ultimately consume it." I feel that sums up the phoenix force pretty nicely, pretty much indestructable, and it is what Jean is made of. Pretty badass on her own, when Gray connects to the phoenix force she is completely badass. Gray can move not only read minds, but move things with her mind, just like Professor X. She is an omega-level mutant (the most powerful) and the physical manifestation of said 'phoenix force'. With her radiant red her and absolute intelligence, she rises from death time after time, as the name implies. She was one of the original x-men, and still remains one of the most powerful and popular. Jean Grey is truely badass and brilliant.

3. Poison Ivy (Batman)

Possibly my favourite comic book villian, Poison Ivy is truely original. Her backstory is possibly one of my favourite character bios in comic books, and her passion for plants over people I don't blame her at all for. She is stunningly beautiful, and incredibly powerful. She is the ultimate seductress, poisoning you with a kiss, and has complete control over the whole plant world - imagine the possibilities? However, cold (or green) hearted she may be, her human side shows through when she adopts orphans who were left alone after an earthquake in Gotham city. Despite her misanthropic tendancies (or perhaps complete misanthropy) I can't help but have a soft spot for Ivy.

2. Tank Girl (Dark Horse)

Not sure if she is good or bad, but she is most definitely badass, infact bad to the bone would be more accurate. I love Tank Girl, she is crude, vulgar and a beer drinking, smoking, smelly disgusting skinheaded excuse of a woman - how can you not love her? I mean really, she tells it how she is, she doesn't even try and make excuses for herself. She is a pig, she is selfish, she is hideously cruel, and her boyfriend is a hybrid human/kangeroo mutant. But she drives a TANK for gods sake? She doesn't have any official super powers, yet she can take down anyone who stands in her way and has a whole array of badass weapons. Her 'fuck off, don't mess with me' attitude is one that is close to my heart. She really doesn't care what people think, shes a survivor in a post apocalyptic australian land and she always wins the fight. The light hearted style of the comics and the sheer brilliance of this fiesty character mean she will always remain close to my heart. She's what Courtney Love wishes she had the balls to be.
1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

How could I not have my favourite female character of all time not appear in this list? Well, I couldn't could i? Buffy Summers, what can I say? She is the wise cracking, vampire slaying, cheerleading badass who MADE the whole series. Okay, so she really lost her badassness when she lost her ASS after the 3rd season (come on I know she had super powers and all, but a 5"2 anorexic blonde defeating a 6"4 ripped vampire male? I think not) but Buffy will always remain the most badass, the most brilliant female ever. As far as I think anyway, who can't love a woman who can walk into hell and walk straight back out with nothing but a few scratches, or fight an invisible demon while she has the flu?

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